Cake vs Pie...Why choose?

     Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure all dads like cake and/or pie. Who doesn't like little tasty bits stuck in their mustache for later? Adorable. Since my dad's birthday was one day after Father's Day this year and he got slighted in the gift department (just kidding, he got lovely Scotch), I wanted to make an extra-special cake. Then a glorious thought struck me: this is America, and I'm going to make a cake/pie hybrid. No Frankenstein stuff over here, just a cake wearing pie's clothing, as it were.

    Banana Cream Pie Cake

---

---

---

---

    The cake is pretty simple to make, but I want to stress that you get ultra-ripe bananas. What does this mean? It means your bananas should look like little rotting corpses. God, I am on a role with the imagery on this one. To start, cream the butter, salt, and sugar. Next add the buttermilk. In a medium bowl, sift together the dry ingredients and add them to the butter and sugar mixture. Do not over-mix; banana bread lives to make your life hard, don't let it bully you. Bake and cool completely. 

     I told my friend's brother that the filling was vanilla pudding because I thought telling him it was pastry cream would scare him. He still didn't try it. In any case, to make the pastry cream, heat your milk (and a slit vanilla bean) on medium heat until it starts to simmer. Meanwhile, in a heat-proof bowl, whisk together the sugar, eggs, cornstarch and salt. Temper the egg mixture by slowly pouring in the hot milk mixture. Once the two mixtures have been combined, you can add it back to the pot after straining it. Heat on medium until the mixture thickens to a pudding consistency, stirring all the while. Cool, add vanilla extract, discard bean, and chill with plastic wrap until you're ready to assemble the cake.

     To assemble this lovely cake, start with one disk of cake and evenly spread the pastry cream over it. Slice 1-2 bananas and lay the pieces in a concentric pattern. Place the second layer of cake on top. Now, whip the cream, sugar, vanilla extract, and salt until stiff peaks form. An icy bowl and cold cream will make this happen faster. Have you ever tried whipping cream by hand in a hot room? Now that will put some hair on your chest. Frost the entire cake with the whipped cream and top the cake with extra banana slices in a pretty pattern, or just throw them on for that monkey-ravaged look. The cake is best the first or second day, but will hold well for about four. 

Recipe

350 F/ 25-35 min, 2x 8-9 in round cake pans, greased or lined

CAKE

2/3 c butter, softened
1 2/3 c sugar
2/3 c buttermilk (if you don’t have it, just use regular milk)
3 - 4 bananas (very ripe)
2 eggs
2 ½ c flour
1 ¼ tsp. baking powder
1 ¼ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tbsp vanilla extract

PASTRY CREAM

32 ounces whole milk (use coconut milk for a non-dairy version)1 vanilla bean, split and scraped or 1 Tbsp vanilla extract

5 whole eggs (about 8.75 ounces)
2 egg yolks (about 1.5 ounces)
10 ounces sugar
3 ounces cornstarch
1/4 tsp kosher salt

WHIPPED CREAM

1 pint whipping cream

3 tbsp sugar 

1/4 tsp salt

INSPIRATION