What's my favorite thing to do when the world is melting outside? Turn on the oven. Seriously, think about it---" Honey, can you mow the lawn?"... "Sorry ma, makin a pie."..."Kels, could you take the trash out?"..."No can do, gotta wait for this loaf to rise." The possibilities of not having to venture outside are endless. There are a few summer treats that always make it onto the menu at our house. These include pies, cobblers, and coconut cakes of glory. To shake things up a bit and for the sake of living on the wild side, I've recently been making cream puffs, which have been more widely anticipated than the MIA royal baby. The puffs I'm about to guide you through came out pretty scrummy, even with all the mishaps along the way. Flying by the seat of my pants is the only way I know how to bake.*
***Read through any recipe before you start making it to avoid tears and breakups***


STEP 1: Make those puffs

Melt the butter and the water together over medium heat, bringing the mixture to a low simmer.

In a small bowl, measure out your flour, salt, and sugar and in another bowl crack your eggs and allow them to reach room temperature. Ask me if my eggs are cold. They are. 

Like the mildly athletic reader I know you are, vigorously mix the flour into the liquid over the heat until it pulls away from the sides.

Time to let that paste cool! Treat yo self to a nice, iced coffee outside. Jokes. Please do not go outside again until it's October. 

Once you're safely back inside, mix the eggs into the paste one by one. Continue to drink cool beverages, this part will put a mustache on ya.

Now scoop your paste into your glorious, professional grade pastry bag, making sure to squeeze as much air out of the top as you can before you close it. 

Pipe...bake... (make sure to lightly press down on the peaks with water before you bake so they come out in a more uniform shape).

Hello World!

It's important that you begin to bake the puffs at the higher temperature mentioned before lowering the temperature in order to get the best texture. 

When those puffs emerge from the oven, it is your sworn duty to puncture them in order to release the steam trapped inside them. They will die if you neglect this step. Do you want that on your hands? 

STEP TWO: Pastry Cream 

I would like to point out that instead of using milk the the recipe noted, I mixed 1c of half and half with 1/4c of water. Sorry I'm not sorry. 

Separate your yolks from your whites. Give the whites to your dog or make an egg white omelette. I won't judge you, at least not for the first thing. Do this first so your eggs can come up to temperature...which mine surprisingly again are not. Hate on me.

Mix your cornstarch and sugar together to avoid lumps down the line...but only in your pastry cream.

Heat the milk mixture over medium heat, bringing it to a low simmer.

Combine the starch/sugar mixture with the egg yolks and slowly add the milk mixture to temper the eggs. This will keep the yolks from scrambling. When you've added about a third of the milk to the other, now stabilized, mixture, return these contents to the pan, still over medium heat. Continuously stir until the mixture is very thick. I added one, ripe banana, mashed, and a teaspoon each of powdered ginger and cinnamon to mine at this point. Refrigerate until the next step. None of this is documented because I was alone and on a mission from the pastry gods. Ain't nobody got time for pictures. 

STEP THREE: Filling 

Fill another high quality pastry bag with your cream. This bag may burst if you apply too much pressure. My first three did. I got over it. *Cut the hole small enough to allow the bag easy access to the holes we so smartly produced in our puffs earlier.

You're finished! How does it feel? Hopefully like you're someones little, French grandma who's been making puffs since the Great War. 

First Temp: 425 F (ten minutes)

Second Temp: 375 F (thirty minutes)

Yield: 40-50

Pastry Cream

1¼ cups milk 

1 vanilla bean

¼ cup sugar
¼ cup cornstarch
¼ tsp salt
4 egg yolks

Puff

1/2 cup butter 

1 Tbsp sugar
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1 cup water
1 cup AP flour
4 eggs

(Both adapted from Flour)